True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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