did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we're making bets on your personal life
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
