I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I am available for nakedness
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
