Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
