I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize