While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize