love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
