guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
