Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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