About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
