When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
