your thong is hanging out like whoa
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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