That's intense
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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