How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
