Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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