I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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