i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
