There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
