Where did you get a picture of my penis
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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