well most of my day revolves around power hour
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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