I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
