i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
