when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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