He is such a slut. More and more my type.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
