So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
