I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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