in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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