I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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