I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
