I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
