I need help removing her.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize