goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
