remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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