You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
