You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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