I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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