Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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