Dual....:-)
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
