My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
