Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize