what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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