I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
