i barfeds in our rink
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
