it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
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Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
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the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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