I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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