party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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