I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
