Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
