All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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