Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.