will power is for people who don't want to get laid
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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