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• (310): View more from California

  my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you

  (917): View more from New York City

  Those had pot in them

  (917): View more from New York City

  And good luck on your interview asshole

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• (707): View more from California

  I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.

  (1-808): View more from Hawaii

  To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (562): View more from California

  I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving

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• (772): View more from Florida

  Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me

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• (585): View more from New York

  I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...

  (1+64): View more from

  Is this how the global financial crisis happened?

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