Texts From Last Night

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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.

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  (864): We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us. http://tfl.nu/xmtc
  Replies (20) Good night (1024) Bad night (6105)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.

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  (484): Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner. http://tfl.nu/ytfs
  Replies (14) Good night (7030) Bad night (763)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.

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  (208): why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never. http://tfl.nu/g58g
  Replies (27) Good night (8942) Bad night (1348)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista

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  (312): I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista http://tfl.nu/d26q
  Replies (27) Good night (4430) Bad night (1315)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow

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  (920): if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow http://tfl.nu/50w2
  Replies (14) Good night (1914) Bad night (924)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.

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  (773): we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby. http://tfl.nu/gkxo
  Replies (4) Good night (2811) Bad night (707)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station

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  (480): my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station http://tfl.nu/uhsm
  Replies (4) Good night (1977) Bad night (1244)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun

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  (315): I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun http://tfl.nu/s1lu
  Replies (3) Good night (1648) Bad night (545)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.

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  (609): Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style. http://tfl.nu/0udf
  Replies (6) Good night (2091) Bad night (1050)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b

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  (916): Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b http://tfl.nu/9ccv
  Replies (5) Good night (943) Bad night (452)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him

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  (484): you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him http://tfl.nu/re5m
  Replies (1) Good night (860) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.

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  (848): We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples. (848): A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck. http://tfl.nu/35ft
  Replies (3) Good night (1390) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.

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  (304): Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint. http://tfl.nu/67cs
  Replies (2) Good night (708) Bad night (272)
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  (+10): View more from

  I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.

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  (+10): I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins. http://tfl.nu/va1r
  Replies (1) Good night (377) Bad night (208)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We're not piercing ourselves today.

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  (405): We're not piercing ourselves today. http://tfl.nu/89v4
  Replies (3) Good night (396) Bad night (287)

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