I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital