I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
