you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
A bitchslap is in order.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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