I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Why can't burritos get me drunk
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
