i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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