If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
