Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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