i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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