No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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