Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
