So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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