3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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