Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
